Charlie Brown and the war on Christmas

Last week while doing housework I heard what I thought was familiar dialogue from “A Charlie Brown Christmas.” Delighted, I turned on all three TVs in the house so as I went from room to room I could listen to it. I would almost be willing to bet my Vince Guaraldi CD that it was the same music and roughly the same storyline save for a few tweaks and the introduction of a new character.

It seemed this new character’s desire for a puppy had replaced the original plot which centered around the Christmas play. It was beginning to look a lot like the PC version of an American classic. And you don’t fuck with American classics.

Taking out the play was the neatest way to get rid of that pesky Bible verse at the end. You know, the one Charlie Brown, or is it Linus, uses to clarify the true meaning of Christmas. God Bless Charles Schultz. It was controversial even in 1965, but he managed to get it through.

Suffice to say I was mildly appalled. I mean, is nothing sacred? OK, I know scripture isn’t, but Charlie Brown? Come on! That they would actually modify what many regard as an essential part of holiday tradition to appease the morons who are offended by the use of Biblical references in a story about CHRISTmas, seemed beyond the pale.

Turns out I’m an alarmist, shoot me. Come to find out there is an entirely different and relatively new animated Christmas story featuring Chuck and friends. It’s called “I Want a Dog for Christmas Charlie Brown.” While my worst fears were unfounded, I wasn’t entirely off base: they’ve basically replaced the old one for Charlie Brown Christmas for the ever so gutless dog story.

In this week’s Reporter, our newest columnist Paul Moomjean proposes an inspired remedy for the war on Christmas.

They can take the Christmas out of the televised Charlie Brown, but they’ll have to pry the original version on VHS from my cold, dead hands.


One Comment to “Charlie Brown and the war on Christmas”

  1. You, my lady, are a twisted, talented Queen. And you know I love it when you talk dirty to me.

    Happy new year.

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